FWD: Lancelot’s Choice – Her Way or No Way

Beauty and the Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur’s closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur’s question thus: ‘What do women really want?
She said, ‘Is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half.

‘Which would you prefer?’ She asked him.
‘Beautiful during the day ….. or at night?’
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch! Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?

(If you are a man reading this…) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN’S choice be?

What Lancelot chose, is given below:
BUT… make YOUR choice before you scroll down below… OKAY?

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Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, he said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now… what is the moral to this story?

The moral is…
1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don’t let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

So, always remember:
IT’S EITHER ‘HER WAY’ OR IT’S ‘NO WAY’!!!

FWD: You Know You are Living in 2009 when…

stoneage-computerage

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2 You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7 Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

FWD: Questions of Wisdom … and some stupid answer

A while back my friend forwarded me a mail titled: ‘Spread the stupidity’. When I read it, I do not find it stupid at all. Maybe I am just not wise enough to realise that it was supposed to be stupid. Anyway, I will list down the questions, and I will try to answer it.

Q: Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
A: Because they want the smokers to die faster.

Q: Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
A: Because they feel good when they are on a diet.

Q: Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
A: Because pens are considered consumables while the doors are considered assets, and the insurance only covers the doors, not the pens.

Q: Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?
A: Because we will never invite our neighbours into our garage to admire our cars.

Q: Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering?
A: Because the banks cannot be discriminating towards the visually impaired.

They even put up a sign for it!
They even put up a sign for it!

Ever wonder …

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Because we are not hairy enough to cover our skins, like our monkey brothers.

Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Hmm…not true, because my beloved can.

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Because they won’t cash out the winnings as using psychic power is considered as cheating.

Why is ‘abbrevitated’ such a long word?
That is why the abbreviated form for this word is ‘abbrev.’

Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
Because they never got it right.

Why is lemon juice made with articial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Because you have to know the difference between 7-Up and Sprite.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
That is why I am broke now.

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Because cats do not play with their food.

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Because it was hiding in the elephants.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Because they are going to recycle the needles.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Because the data when a plane crashes is more valuable than the lives lost when the plane crashes.

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Because they kept us and our neighbours apart.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Because that is where you stop flying and have to keep both feet on the ground.

FWD: Comic – The Break Up – Repaying the bloody debt…

My beloved forwarded me a comic strip and said that I will love it because I am lame enough to laugh out loud. Well, I am lame enough to even share this with you guys. Heh heh!  Have a good laugh! 🙂

Bloody Break Up

Due to the size of the strip, I had to shrink it and thus the words are not too clear. Here is the conversation between the G(irl) and the B(oy).

#1
G : Zakk, I think we should break up.
B : What!?

#2
B : After all we’ve been through you want to break up!?

#3
B : I even donated my blood to save your life and this is how you repay me!?

#4
G : I’m sorry, Zakk … but I just don’t love you anymore … 

#5
B : Then give me back my blood.

#6
Silence

#7
G : Fine.

#8
G : Here’s my tampon. I’ll pay you monthly.