Monday Blues Series – Super White

Now you can tell your mum that you are singing (when you actually wanted to swear).

Monday Blues Series is aimed at lighting up your Mondays when you reluctantly drag yourself to work. It will be a series of pictures, jokes, or light articles that will, hopefully, bring some life into you. Stay tuned every Monday at 9 a.m. (Malaysian time, +0800 GMT) for my Monday Blues Series.

Monday Blues Series – 710

Yesterday I was having some work done at the workshop. Someone came in and asked for a ‘seven-hundred- ten’.
We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, “What is a seven-hundred-ten?”
Obviously not a petrolhead, or having little knowledge about cars, the person replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there.”
The mechanic gave the person a piece of paper and a pen and asked the person to draw what the little piece looked like. The person drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!
He then took the person over to another car which had the hood up and asked, “Is there a 710 on this car?”
The person pointed and said, “Of course, it’s right there.”

Yesterday I was having some work done at the workshop. Someone came in and asked for a ‘seven-hundred-ten’.

We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, “What is a seven-hundred-ten?”

Obviously not a petrolhead, nor having much knowledge about cars, the person replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there.”

The mechanic gave the person a piece of paper and a pen and asked the person to draw what the little piece looked like. The person drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!

He then took the person over to another car which had the hood up and asked, “Is there a 710 on this car?”

The person pointed and said, “Of course, it’s right there.”

710

Monday Blues Series is aimed at lighting up your Mondays when you reluctantly drag yourself to work. It will be a series of pictures, jokes, or light articles that will, hopefully, bring some life into you. Stay tuned every Monday at 9 a.m. (Malaysian time, +0800 GMT) for my Monday Blues Series.

Monday Blues Series – Sardar Jee Jokes

Sardar Jee
Sardar Jee

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What ‘which part’? Whole body was born in India .

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea.. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is ‘All India Radio!

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE :
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. …..
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king’s skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child
.

Monday Blues Series is aimed at lighting up your Mondays when you reluctantly drag yourself to work. It will be a series of pictures, jokes, or light articles that will, hopefully, bring some life into you. Stay tuned every Monday at 9 a.m. (Malaysian time, +0800 GMT) for my Monday Blues Series.

Monday Blues Series – A.I.’s analysis of Love

AI_Love

Monday Blues Series is aimed at lighting up your Mondays when you reluctantly drag yourself to work. It will be a series of pictures, jokes, or light articles that will, hopefully, bring some life into you. Stay tuned every Monday at 9 a.m. (Malaysian time, +0800 GMT) for my Monday Blues Series.

Monday Blues Series – The Rainbow Week

Ok, ok, I am late for this entry. Reason? I was struck down by a criminal called ‘Monday Blues’. Yeah, I am lame. This entry would be even more lame.

Let’s get back to the topic. I am sure you all know that rainbows have seven colours, which is, from top to bottom, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. How would it be like to associate the days of the week with rainbow colours?

RainbowFirst of all, the beginning of the working week is Monday, and we all know Monday is associated to the blue colour, because we have Monday Blues. The colour is also associated to our mood, therefore on Mondays we feel blue.

Tuesdays make our mood a little better and we feel greener. Our work rate begins to pick up and slowly gathering pace.

Wednesday, it is already the middle of the working week, and we are all looking forward to Friday. Things began to heat up a bit, and we are performing at the most effective level as we want to complete our tasks and enjoy the Friday without having to work overtime. Therefore, it’s Wednesday Yellow.

Thursday, the day before Friday, is what we all look forward to whole week long. Thursday Orange.

The day is finally here! Hooray! RED HOT Friday!

Usually our Friday mood will be extended over into Saturday, therefore we get a mix of red and blue, resulting in a Violet Saturday. By the way, it is VIOLET, not VIOLEnT.

Sunday, a day when we should take a good rest and prepare ourselves for the new week ahead, we have to keep our mind clear and our body fresh. Water is the most cleansing matter of all matters. Thus, Sunday is Indigo.

And now who says that our week cannot be colourful?

Rainbow

Monday Blues Series is aimed at lighting up your Mondays when you reluctantly drag yourself to work. It will be a series of pictures, jokes, or light articles that will, hopefully, bring some life into you. Stay tuned every Monday at 9 a.m. (Malaysian time, +0800 GMT) for my Monday Blues Series.

Monday Blues Series – Hey I Love this Doctor

I received this forwarded email from my high school ENGLISH tuition teacher. Even though it is a little long, please read until the end and you will love the answers that the doctor gave.

Hey I Love this Doctor
This MAY or MAY NOT be the actual doctor that gave the following advice

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…  don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?  Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? 
A:  No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.  Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your  ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

Q:  Aren’t fried foods bad for you? 
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! …..  Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me? 
A:  Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure? 
A:  If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q:  Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? 
A:  Hey!  ‘Round’ is a shape! 

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And  remember:
‘Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO, What a Ride’    

 AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

(and this joke came from my ENGLISH tuition teacher…)

Monday Blues Series is aimed at lighting up your Mondays when you reluctantly drag yourself to work. It will be a series of pictures, jokes, or light articles that will, hopefully, bring some life into you. Stay tuned every Monday at 9 a.m. (Malaysian time, +0800 GMT) for my Monday Blues Series.

Monday Blues Series – The Vicious Cycle

My brother Eddy sent me this picture and I thought it was nice to share with you, especially if you are sufferring from lack of sleep due to late nights and Monday Blues.

The Vicious Cycle
The Vicious Cycle

Relax and enjoy Mondays. Go to bed early tonight to avoid falling into the vicious cycle. 🙂

Monday Blues Series is aimed at lighting up your Mondays when you reluctantly drag yourself to work. It will be a series of pictures, jokes, or light articles that will, hopefully, bring some life into you. Stay tuned every Monday at 9 a.m. (Malaysian time, +0800 GMT) for my Monday Blues Series.