Q: Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
A: Because they want the smokers to die faster.

Q: Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
A: Because they feel good when they are on a diet.

Q: Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
A: Because pens are considered consumables while the doors are considered assets, and the insurance only covers the doors, not the pens.

Q: Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?
A: Because we will never invite our neighbours into our garage to admire our cars.

Q: Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering?
A: Because the banks cannot be discriminating towards the visually impaired.

They even put up a sign for it!

Ever wonder …

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Because we are not hairy enough to cover our skins, like our monkey brothers.

Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Hmm…not true, because my beloved can.

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Because they won’t cash out the winnings as using psychic power is considered as cheating.

Why is ‘abbrevitated’ such a long word?
That is why the abbreviated form for this word is ‘abbrev.’

Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
Because they never got it right.

Why is lemon juice made with articial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Because you have to know the difference between 7-Up and Sprite.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
That is why I am broke now.

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Because cats do not play with their food.

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Because it was hiding in the elephants.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Because they are going to recycle the needles.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Because the data when a plane crashes is more valuable than the lives lost when the plane crashes.

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Because they kept us and our neighbours apart.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Because that is where you stop flying and have to keep both feet on the ground.